The yarn store was having a big 25% off sale last weekend so I went and stocked up a little. I got some really nice varigated, hand dyed, Chilean wool in a deep forest green for my Knitting Olypics project. I'm thinking about trying to do this Celtic knot on the bum. Yikes! It should be fun, though. This is the fanciest yarn I've bought in a long time. It's not even a center pull, I'm going to have to ball it. Gasp!

I also made some monkey shorts for my Hyena Cart stocking in a few weeks. I'm psyched. There are pictures down there somewhere. Scroll, baby. I am now working on a "MOM" banner in a heart tattoo design that I wish I had done early enough for Valentine's Day, but I don't think I'm gonna make it.

Today was co-op at Kim's house so I had time to do fun stuff this morning. By fun stuff, I mean going to the DMV and then studying math. Coming from MI, land of the auto industry and lack of clean air initiatives, it completey slipped our minds that we were supposed to get our emissions tested until we got a big fat fine in the mail. Oops. I had to run to an emissions station super early this morning and get it done and then bring proof to the DMV and pay the fine lest they gank our licenses. It was painful, but I can assure you that it won't lapse again. It has moved from Kyle's job (everything car related is technically supposed to fall in the "Kyle" category) to my job (everything that keeps us from paying fines and fees and getting bills taken care of has fallen into the "Amy" category by default) for next year. The good news is that Turbo Tax is getting the updated Education Credit Form tomorrow, so we can file then and hopefully get our check in the next few weeks or so.

Anyway, so sfter my AWESOME time spent at the DMV (I brought my knitting not realizing that they don't have a waiting area and numbers, they make you stand in a line) I went to the bookstore with my brand spakin' new $8 off half.com GRE study book to make another attempt at basic math. Somewhere in the middle of the first hour I had a breakthrough. I started getting things right, and when I got things wrong, I read the explanation and it actually made. sense. I ahve discovered that my biggest problem is losing sight of what the question is actually asking. I think I need to read the problem and actually write down what answer they are looking for (area, volume, x, etc.) next to my work space. I feel like I was actually productive today, which is pretty dern exciting. The past few times I've tried to study math I just ended up alternately staring blankly at the book and getting impossibly frustrated with the whole business. Yay me! I'm going to kick this test's raggedy ass, dammit!

In other ass kicking news, we won trivia last night. My sole contributions were "what speed came before 33 RPM records?" (78s), "What movie starred Julianne Moore and HUgh Grant as expecting parents?" (9 Months) and "What rock band has a frontman named Rivers Cuomo?" (Weezer). Oh, and the speed round, in which I correctly identified pictures of Lionel Ritchie, Kofi Annin, Georgia O'Keefe, Jake Gyllanhall, a kiwi and a Van Gogh painting. But so did everyone else. Ah well. We still won. Yay for free drinks!

Yesterday at Target I made an impulse buy of a bag of those caramels with the creme in the center. Bullseyes? I got them home and discovered 1) they are so gross that even Henry won't eat them and 2) their grossness does not seem to stop me from eating the entire bag. Yuck.

I should be kntiting right now, but it is as cold as a witch's hooha in here and I feel like taking a shower just to shake this chill. Brrrrrrrr...

Front. 

Happy Monkey Bum 

Maaaaaaaan. I went through all the trouble of posting the below pictures in reverse order, so the last one in the sequence would actually show up below the others and it would go in the right order. It somehow got messed up so that the first and second pictures should be reversed. Ah well.

This has been such a crazy week I am burnt out. Brian called last night and said that they had a rough week, too, and their house was a disaster. Being the lovely and kind man that Kyle is, he offered to pick up Ava this morning and take the kids out hiking to give them time to pull their house back together. The only glitch in the plan is that, after hiking, Kyle is bringing the kids back here where Brain and Amy are meeting us for lunch. That means that instead of using this alone time to knit, I will be cleaning OUR disaster of a house (especially the bathroom, yuck) so that it is semi-fit for other people to see.

And off I go...

You can see what his favorite new bath toy is by looking to the right of his shoulder at the bath crayon covered tub. He is the next Picasso. Only not the misogynous narcissistic ass part...well, we're hoping he grows out of the narcissism... 

Henry is thoroughly enjoying all of his new bath toys. He never wants to get into the tub, but once he's in, he never wants to get out. 

Here's a closer look. This is also what the entire BOTTOM of the TEXTURIZED tub looks like. I can can hardly wait to try to clean it. Maybe I'll just do an experiment to see how long just showering takes to get the crayon off... 

Quick, while he's in the bath!!!

Henry has been a little...erm...sensitive lately. I think it might be because we've been leaving him with other folks more. Tuesday was co-op and Wednesday we left him with Anthony, Jess and Noah while we went on a date. We went to see Capote. It was good, not great. Phillip Seymore Hoffman was amazing, as per usual, the pacing was just strange. It is a testament to the film, however, that-running on an average of 6 hours of (interupted) sleep a night this week-I didn't fall asleep while sitting in a dark room for 110 minutes.

When we went to pick the bean up, he was in the middle of a raousing game of "throw balls at each others' heads" with Noah. He ran out of Noah's room, saw us standing there, said "hi mama, hi daddy", and ran back into Noah's room like he didn't actually realize we'd been gone. The problems started when we got home at about 8:30. Two hours of screaming, flailing, clinging, begging and redepositing into bed later, Henry was blissfully asleep. No, going to bed later did NOT make him sleep late. Actually, it seems like the lack of sleep is reproducing. He has been taking short naps, going to bed late and waking up between 5-6. Ugh.

Because I am a masochist, I have begun on 2 new biz/knitting ventures. I have entered the Yarn Harlot's Knitting Olympics . I am going to do a pair of longies with cables up the sides of the legs and a Celtic knot on the bum. I am also opening an account with Hyena Cart, which is where all of the hoity toity longies people sell their stuff. I quit the co-op I was working with, so I thought I should get a different place to do in stock sales. Hyena cart is half the cost of the co-op and it gets mega traffic. AND a mama web designer I know is trying to build her Hyena Cart portfolio, so she is going to set everything up for me for free. Woot! So actually, these two things are related, as I will no doubt sell the fancy pants cabled longies on Hyena Cart. Or at least try to sell them there...

I am really stressing out about the math thing. I took another practice test this morning and got less than 50%. I can't force myself to study it, it is like my brain just shuts off. I am going to ahve to figure out a different way of looking at it, or a different way of thinking about it. I am at a standstill right now. I think I need a study partner or tutor. Kyle is really good at math, and he says he'll help me, but there always seems to be too much going on. I'll figure it out, it'll just take me a while.

OH! Did I tell you that I spent my GAP gift certificate? Yup. I went shopping. Let me tell you, money doesn't go very far at the GAP. I got a pair of jeans. Me! Jeans! They are the Curvy ones, so since they know we can't find jeans that fit anywhere else, they make them more expensive. I also got 2 t-shirts and 1 long sleeved t-shirt with a split collar that was on sale for $6. I got $3 back. Wowza. I guess I'm used to shopping at Target so I have no idea what clothes cost at a store that doesn't also sell bread and small electronics. I am loving the jeans, though. It is nice to feel cute once in a while. When we get our tax return check I am going to go buy another pair.

I have to take Henry out of the bath now. He is going to be pissed. It's time for a nap. I predict a 15 minute wrestling match to get him dressed and then another 10 minutes to force him into his car seat so I can drive around for a half hour to get him to fall asleep. 1....2...3...go.

Well, today was another co-cop day, so I had 3 whole hours to myself this morning.

The morning started at 5:30, which is what I get for letting Henry nap late yesterday. Half comatose from the early hour, I caved and let Henry watch Chicken Run for the 67th time while I made him a grapefruit. Okay, okay, I didn't make it, but I halved it and paintakingly traced each little line of the pulpy membrane, making juicy and deliscious little grapefruit triangles for the little man to slurp up. I can only let him have it every other day lest his backside erupt with crazy diaper rash from the acidity, so he loves grapefruit mornings. He ate the whole thing and then stole half of my measly little granola bar and ate that too. In my weakened and tired state, I couldn't fend him off. Bully.

After he drew a "J" on the Magna Doodle (why yes, he is a genius, thank you for asking) and tried to erase it for 15 minutes to no avail, we realized that his beloved Magna Doodle was broken. I'm sure it had nothing to do with him jumping up and down on it and hitting it repeatedly with his guitar. Our conversation follows:

Henry: "J. J. Erase it"
Me: "Oh, baby I think it's broken"
Henry: "It broken"
(sad sad frown)
Me: "I'm sorry"
Henry: " Don't worry. It's okay. Daddy will help"
Me: *is dead from the cute*

Needless to say, we dropped Kyle off at school and went directly to Target to buy a new Magna Doodle. It is one of the only toys he plays with every single day and he loves to practice writing letters on it (he is up to about 10 letters now, woo!) so I felt like I wanted to replace it. I think we'll just have to have stricter rules about appropriate Magna Doodle behavior this time around.

After Target, I went to drop Henry off at mama Fyffe's house for co-op. I had cunningly constructed my morning so that I would not ahve to return home, all the way across town, until after I picked him up at noon. Then I realized I had forgotten my phone. Doh! Luckily Liz, the other mama watching the kids, offered to lend me hers while I was gone, in case of an emergency. I went to Barnes and Noble to study.

I started studying math and then gave up before my head exploded. I need someone there who knows the stuff to walk me through it. Studying it by myself is like trying to learn to knit online. Words on paper don't convey the whole idea-to me anyway. As the grande mocha kicked in, I decided to hit the bathroom before starting a verbal practice test. I took the phone just in case. I was already to the bathroom before I realized I had no pockets. Perched on the toilet, trying not to let my bum touch the grody seat while simultaniously trying not to let the borrowed cell phone fall into the toilet, I looked down and saw the unwavering eye of the camera function of Liz's phone looking up at me. God help them if, in my compromised state, I hit the button that takes a picture. And if I did, please let them never ever tell me.

I managed to eke out 2 practice tests and hovered right around the 85-90% range. I think that I could improve my score by a few % points just by not drinking a grande mocha before trying to concentrate. That was a really stupid idea. My fingers are still shaking from all of that caffiene. My vice-less mama body isn't used to that kind of assault any more. I think I am going to ask Kyle to sit down with me tonight and go through some of the math. I need to figure out a way to make it stick in my head, because I am just not wired that way. Just when I think I grasp a concept, it flows right out of my brain.

Ah well.

Kyle got his W2 today! And...wait for it...did our taxes already! Holy crap, I can't believe it! I didn't have to nag him for 2 months and then rush out in the middle of a downpou at 11:58 to get them to the post office before the deadline. He filed online from work. Woot! Since I didn't work at all this year, it looks like we are going to get a little chunk back, which is nice. It will at least cover my GRE fees, lol.

Speaking of the GRE, I have been diligently studying vocabulary. Actually, I found this website that has a random GRE vocab generator (http://www.manythings.org/fq/m/2991.html for all of you uber dorks) with 12 words on one side and 12 definitions on the other. You have to click and drag the definition over the the correct word. When you're done, it'll spit out another 12. I have been doing it word by word from top to bottom so that I can't use the process of elimination (because I won't be able to do that on the actual exam). I have done about 1,500 words. Yeah, I'm a little obsessed. The good news is that I am steadily scoring about a 94-97% correct. The bad news is that this means it's time to move on to math in earnest. Bah. I have made all my flashcards for the Geometry section and I think I have a pretty good handle on it, but algebra is looming over my head. I know I am supposed to know this stuff already, but the brain space formerly occupied by simple algebraic equations has been vacated to make room for dozens of Wiggles' lyrics.

Tomorrow morning Henry goes to co-op, so I have 3 blissful hours to myself. I ahve been knitting like a fiend lately, so I think I am going tot ake a little break from it and go to the bookstore and study with a super grande mocha. Yay for caffiene!

Erica has decided to audition for The Rebelles (http://www.therebelles.com/index2.html), our local burlesque troupe. Last night was spent trying to find the perfect music for her audition. After rejecting: Pop Life, Hungry Like the Wolf, Pusherman, Gimme Some, Some Kinda Love, and Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show (???Kyle's idea) I think she has settled on a Spoon song. I wish I could go watch. If they don't take her, they're crazy.

Okay, okay, I just want to be able to tell Henry he used to be babysat by a burlesque dancer...

Dragonflies... 

I have a newly made agglomeration of vocabulary flashcards all ready to study: prefixes, suffixes and roots at your service, ma'am. I am now starting on the math flashcards. Yikes! I didn't remember how much I didn't know about basic math. I'm talking basic geometry and algebra, but it might as well be...what's a smartypants math course...calculus? Trig? I never made it that far. I never even made it close. Right now I am making "circle" flash cards. Yeah. Maybe there is a 12 year old in the neighborhood I can study with.

We hit a milestone this morning. Henry put his pants on all by himself. He even put them on right way round, which is more than I can say for his father. It was pretty exciting. We then went to play with the train table so I could sit and study for a little while. While there, we ran into Jessie and Noah, which turned 'sitting and studying while Henry played quietly with the trains' to 'chasing 2 sreeching madmen around the whole store as they tried to clobber each other with various items. And the espresso machine was broken at the in house Starbucks (I know, I know, they're evil, whatever. I wanted a damn mocha.) so my morning was slightly different than I had planned out in my head. Ah well.

In business news, people are already starting to order shorts! This is bad in a way, because I have to get a lot more orders to make the same amount of money. It comes at a good time, though, as I am embarking on my higher education quest. Shorts are quick, so I'll have more time to study. I am also going to actually make some instock things this summer and try to sell some things locally in the Fall. I know I said that last year, but I am a little more seasoned in the biz now, so I think it'll actually happen. We'll see. I also quit my WaHM co-op and I'm going to try a different thing called hyena cart. It's hard to explain, but I think it will be good for business and I can sell in stock there. I just finished a pair of wee little dragonfly pants that I like. I'll post a picture after this post, which will show up above this post, so you'll see it before you read about how I like them.

It's the weekend kids, have fun.

This is how Henry insisted on being tucked in last night. Pay no mind to the girly comforter cover. It's Erica's. 

SO, after much moaning and groaning and gnashing of teeth, I think I have decided what I want to be when I grow up. My new venture is made up of half what I really want to do with my life (academia in literature) and pragmatism (actually being employable). I have decided to start the application process for a Master of Arts in Education.

If I went for Elementary Ed., I would have to get a second Bachelors in Education before starting the long and arduous Masters program. With a Masters of Arts in Education, I can get my Masters in about the same amount of time it would take me to get that second Bachelors in Elementary Ed. I won't be certified to teach when I am done, I will be qualified to be a Reading Specialist. Reading Specialist are in HIGH demand so I should have no problem getting a job when I get my degree. I will be dealing with literature, just at the most basic and accessible level-pretty much the opposite of my intention when beginning my literature degree- but still. And I will have the same schedule as Henry and Kyle. And I will be employable anywhere in the country should we decide to move someday. And, should we ever (don't hold your breath) decide to ahve another baby and I am jerked from the workplace again, I will be qualified to do part time tutoring privately-also in demand.

So what's next? I have to take the GRE. Yikes! Henry is at babysitting co-op right now, so I took the opportunity to go to the bookstore ALONE (!!!) and got a light GRE prep book. I went online and bought the heavy duty/with CD ROM prep guide from Half.com for $8. It was $41 at the bookstore. Score! I took a couple of practice "analogy" sections just to scope it out and I got around an 85%. Not too shabby for someone 6 years out of any kind of school. It is the math that has me worried. Since I somehow managed to test out of math in college, I haven't had any math instruction since 1993. Scary. I am really going to have to study the math before I am comfortable even attempting the GRE. I think I am going to give myself 3-6 months to study as a rought timeline. We'll see.

I also need to scrounge up 3 letters of recommendation. Who the hell am I supposed to get to write those? Bam can write one since I was technically her Research Assistant and a guest lecturer in on of her classes. And she has a fancy professorship and will write nice things about me. I can try to track down Craig Dionne, the always supportive and far too good looking smartypants Shakespeare prof., but will he even remember me 6 years out fo school? That still leaves 1 more. Do you think they'd accept a letter of rec. from my mom? I was thinking about the law firm, but the one lawyer who I really liked and clicked with is no longer with the firm.

Ah, thoughts of school, how I've missed you so.

Now I have 27 minutes left until I have to get Henry. In the 2 hours and 33 minutes I've had Henry-less this morning I havemanaged to: go to the shoe store and try on tons of shoes so I can order them online with the gift card my oh-so-thoughtful-brother got me for Xmas, go to the bank to deposit a check and cash in $57 worth of rolled change (where the roof of the drive through had collapsed and was laying on the ground!!!), go to the yarn store, go to the post office, call the Medicaid office to get Henry's pediatrician situation worked out (and then emailed to harass them further when she didn't answer her phone. Again. Yup, it might be obnoxious, but she emailed me back and I got it worked out.), called Neighborhood Housing Services to see if the Office Manager had a timeline for me (she wasn't in the office today), and have the above mentioned lingering bookstore experience. I rock.

Now I have just enough time left to order shoes and get an OB/GYN referral from Dr. Rob. Woot!

Whew, this place has been a whirlwind lately! Last weekend, our friend Mark stopped by during his holiday pilgrimage from Maryland (where he grew up) back to Austin (where he is in his last year of law school). He was here for about 3 days, telling us all about living in Texas and his recent semester abroad in Bulgaria. It was so good to see him. Monday, right after he left for Texas, the phone rang. It was our friend Linda who was about to make her holiday pilgrimage from Michigan back to Baton Rouge, where she is getting her PhD in performance studies. She was going to be coming through the next day and hoped to stop in for a couple of days. She and I had 2 amazing days of adult conversation, drinking beer and chatting about the good (and not so good) old days. The timing was amazing. As she got in her car and drove away, and I started packing Henry up to go to playgroup, I felt like I had just cleaned out my closet and was looking at all of the things I had chosen to keep, neatly stacked up on shelves and nestled in clearly labeled boxes. Lin is one of those rare friends who it is possible to have a seamless relationship with, even after losing touch for months and months. Our lives are nothing alike-she being single and loose on the streets of Baton Rouge, deep in the world of academia, and me tied so closely to my little family, deciding what will rot my brain less: The Wiggles or The Doodlebops. But somehow, we are in a very similar place. It was wonderful and strange, how little we recognized our time apart. I will miss her more now that I have been reminded what I am missing.

We watched an amazing movie the other night called Mysterious Skin. As much as I liked it, I wouldn't recommend seeing it to anyone. It was beautiful and well acted, but it was so disturbingly effective that it has kept me up two nights in a row. Who knew the kid from Third Rock from the Sun had those kind of acting chops? Man. It leveled me.

Kyle took the bean for a hike in the Pisgah National Forest this morning and they saw a BEAR! Scary? Yes. I thought they were supposed to be sleeping this time of year, but Adrienne said that sonce the climate is so mild here they come out and forage around every once in a while. Yikes!

Last night at Target I got some "potty prizes" for Henry, to encourage him to pee in the potty. Yeah. He didn't understand why I would show him cool puffy stickers and not give them to him. I told him he had to go sit on the potty first, so he went in, sat on the potty for 2.5 seconds, got up and started demanding his stickers. I guess we will have to be more clear about what potty behavior actually gets stickers and things. He is not a fan of the potty and I don't really know how the hell I am supposed to time the sitting on the potty thing so that there is an actual chance of him peeing in it. Next week I think we are going to have a couple of "running around nekkid" days so he can see what happens when he pees. We'll see. I am not looking forward to this foray into potty training.

Also? I hate football.

Gorgeous! 

Suffice it to say that he was not on the potty. See picture above. Yes, that is a very bad picture of Henry, as he looks like he is on his way to the methadone clinic. What gives him that junky-chic look (aside from the half closed eyes) is the foundation makeup he has rubbed all over his face, including lips and teeth.

After having a fit when I took the (now empty) bottle of makeup away from him, Henry is currently fast asleep, lying on the floor right outside the bathroom door with no pants on. I guess you could say he now looks like he has just returned home from the methadone clinic.

Ah, 2 year olds and junky jokes, could there be a more perfect match?

I hate that the posts go from most recent at the top to oldest at the bottom. I don't know a better way to do it, but now you are going to see the "after" picture before you read the post leading up to it. Oh well. The pictures below are ones that I found in the camera while I was uploading the make up picture.

Henry perched in big ole tree. 

The first of an order of 2 stripies. 

Strange colored Jerry Bears. 

Henry and I just came in from planting a tree in the back yard with Adrienne. They bought a Christmas tree with a root ball this year, so we thought we'd take advantage of the almost 60 degree day and get it into the ground. It was fun! Henry had a blast playing in the dirt (I wish I brought my camera out, but we were all dirty-handed anyway) and we're hoping that we will be able to drive by in 30 years and see a nice big spruce in the yard! I want to take Henry for a little hike at Bent Creek, but I think that would be a bad idea given the close proximity to naptime. Maybe later this afternoon.

In other news, it looks like the potty wars have begun. Henry is throwing a complete fit every time his diaper needs to be changed, including whilst perched atop one of those flimsy little plastic shelf changing tables in public restrooms. Fun! He also refuses to sit on the potty. Yesterday, after wrestling him out of his diaper, I let him walkaround nekkid for a little while. He went into the bathroom and peed on the floor in front of the potty. You might think that was annoying, but we were actually super excited. The fact that he knew he was going to pee and went into the bathroom is awesome. Now I just wish he would sit on the damn potty so we can get started with the positive reenforcement. That is the one drawback of positive parenting. You have to wait for the positive thing to happen before you reenforce it. He's actually in the bathroom right now with just a diaper on. I am trying to give him a little privacy. I ahve no way of knowing if he is sitting on the potty or eating the soap. I guess we'll see when he comes out. We read "Everyone Poops" last night before bed and he seemed to be into it. I guess we just have to wait wait wait for him to be ready lest we scar him for life.

Okay, I'm going to venture into the bathroom to examine what damage has been done. Cross your fingers...

So I almost killed somebody today. No, really.

I was driving down Patton Ave., which is a busy 4-6 (depending on what part you are on) lane divided highway. A kid must have gotten nabbed stealing something from one of the stores on the other side of the road because as I was driving along I saw him booking up the street being chased by another man. At first I thought it was just a couple of kids messing around. Then the kid dashed across an intersection and straight across 3 lanes of (luckily stopped) traffic. As I was approaching, he darted out onto the median. He literally had one foot off the curb as I passed him, and he jerked back at the last second. I seriously thought I was going to slam right into him. I looked into the rear view mirror and the guy who had been chasing him was holding him by the jacket as a cop car approached. So that was the most exciting part of my day...unless you count the hillbilly free for all that is Super Walmart on a Saturday afternoon. Yikes!

Our friend Mark is making the drive from Maryland to Texas this weekend, so he is making a stopover here for the night. We are anxiously awaiting his arrival. Henry decided to boycott napping today, so we are crossing our fingers that Mark's arrival and Henry's imminent meltdown do not coincide. I should actually really be shovelling piles of clothes into the ridiculously small closet so we have space to put the crib mattress Henry is going to have to sleep on tonight.

The little man just walked in here and I noticed that his sweatpants are still on backwards from the last time Kyle changed his diaper. We're such awesome parents...